Coaches versus mentors versus advisors
There are starkly different definitions between these three. But in practice, they blend together. Still, it’s important to know what each type of help does so you can find the best for you.
Here is how I define each one:
Advisors/consultants are experts on what you are trying to do. (In this post I will use the term ‘advisor’ and ‘consultant’ interchangeably). They may or may not help you execute it. They may or may not have ever done it themselves but they draw on expertise and experience.
Mentors have already done what you are trying to do. They give you advice based on their personal experience and familiarity with your situation.
Coaches don’t give advice. They ask questions and use tools to help you tap into your inner wisdom.
While we are on it, coaching is not therapy. Coaching cannot diagnose pathological issues and cannot heal sick people. Coaching cannot help people look at trauma they have never looked at before. Coaching is forward-looking (with a nod to your past) and focused on the change you want to see in yourself and in your life.
In reality people blur the lines between all of these. Many coaches tell their clients what they should do (advice). Some advisors execute and do the work for their advisee. Some therapists use coaching tools. It doesn’t matter really as long as you as a potential client are clear on what you want.
Here is how I personally have used each one:
When my son was young and I was struggling with getting him to stay asleep through the night, I hired a sleep consultant to advise. She even came in to my apartment and taught my husband and I what to do. I was hiring an expert to give me advice and also do the work for me.
When I was applying to business schools I asked a friend who had already graduated to mentor me through the application process. He answered questions, read my essays, and provided his opinion based on his experience and knowledge of the programs. I was getting input from someone who had been through this before and learned from his story and opinions.
When I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do next in my career I hired a coach. I knew my career path had been unique up until that point and I wasn’t going to just use a head hunter to find a new job. I was looking for clarity on what I wanted to create next for myself. On some level I knew the answer was not only ‘out there’ but also within me so I hired a coach to figure out myself and my path.
In summary, there are no swim lanes. But that can be a very good thing because people’s needs don’t fall neatly into buckets either. My suggestion is that if you think you need outside help, try before you buy. Communicate what you are looking for help with and ask open-ended questions on how someone’s services work, the scope, the way they will engage with you, and what to expect. Good luck and I hope this helps!
Hello, I’m Serena. I am a life coach and I write about discovering your calling and creating your right life. If you would like to receive thought-provoking content, join my email list. If you are interested in personalized 1:1 coaching, get in touch with me here.
