How long does it take to find your calling?
And why your first guess is the answer
A question I occasionally hear is ‘How long will it take for me to figure out what I am really meant to do?’
Sometimes we ask this question and we are genuinely curious and open to the answer.
And then sometimes we ask this question because underneath it, we have a concern that it’s going to take a long time and we don’t have the time nor do we want to wait even if we had the time.
However long we think it’s going to take is generally how long it takes.
Among the first steps in finding our calling is to believe that it’s available and find-able now.
This is because what we think becomes our reality.
I’ll give you an example of how this universal law plays out in my life on a very small scale, but bear with me…
When one of my kids doesn’t immediately see their sports jersey in an obvious spot they yell out to me for help. And when I respond to them to look for it, they share their thought “I won’t be able to find it!”. This makes them feel helpless. And they focus all their energy on begging me to do the searching. And guess what? They never find the jersey! When any of us thinks we won’t be able to find something I can tell you, our chance of success plummets even before starting.
This is a small example. But the human experience is the same whether we are looking for a shirt or for our calling. Our thinking creates our reality.
So by similar logic, when we say “I can’t find my purpose” or “it’s taking too long to find my purpose” then we are keeping our purpose away from us. It ends up taking “too long”.
The thought “This is taking too long.” might makes us feel anxious, impatient, rushed, or frustrated. And then we act according to that feeling.
For instance, if we feel impatient we might hastily sign up for a course on photography just because our impassioned neighbor did and we may not even notice that we don’t enjoy the idea of sitting in a five hour workshop discussing composition and lighting.
Or with an anxious feeling we might throw ourselves into an interview process despite our haunting suspicion that the company’s culture is toxic. Just because we are worried that it’s the only opportunity that might come along.
We hitch ourselves to these activities or jobs that aren’t calling to us and thus we don’t find our calling. Our actions and therefore our results are always aligned with our thinking.
So what is the antidote?
Well very simply the antidote is to think differently so that we feel differently and do differently.
For instance, instead of “I’m sure this is going to be a significant investment of time and effort” can instead be “I’m open to the idea that this can happen quickly for me”.
Or “I’m not sure I will be able to find my true calling” can instead become “Maybe I will find my true calling”.
And when the person who used to say to themselves “I won’t be able find it” becomes the person who says “I’m someone who can find my sports jersey when I need it”, we can’t help but see the inevitability of what they will do and the inevitability of what they will find.
Hello, I’m Serena. I am a life coach. I help high achievers pivot towards their life purpose. If you would like to receive thought-provoking content, join my email list. If you are interested in 1:1 coaching, get in touch with me here.
