How to start the journey towards your purpose.
This is the first of what I see as three broad steps.
Most dictionaries define the word purpose as “the reason why something exists”. So your purpose is…. why you exist. And it is as unique as you are.
In my work as a life coach, I help people find their purpose when they have either lost it or they realize they never had it. They can call it a search for fulfillment or meaning but at the end of the day these feelings come about when we have found our purpose and are using it to serve the world in some way.
Need examples? Here are people in my life who are living their life’s purpose:
- The investor who started a fund dedicating to investing in companies at the forefront of women's health after a health emergency of her own.
- The person who is passionate about reading anything they can find on the economy and is now an accomplished and recognized economist.
- The investment banker who quit and now rides the wave of politics, bureaucracy, low pay, and neurodiverse students as a high school teacher and wouldn’t want it any other way.
- The New Yorker who gave up a prestigious job at a global brand and moved to a small Central American town with a population of 2000, intermittent Internet, and never-ending opportunities to surf and connect with nature.
These people have let their purpose unfold over time. That process can feel messy and uncertain at times. But actually there is a clear first step. And that is to…
Know what you want.
Whether what you want is a nap or a walk in the park or a vacation alone or a live performance of Lady Gaga. The object of your unadulterated desire is where to start.
Most likely what you want will be something small and right in front of you. It’s part of your purpose to know what it is and to act on it!
Notice the extent to which you are aware of what you want. Some people aren’t aware at all. For most of my adult life, my mind focused on only what I believed I had to do, not what I wanted to do. I used to dread any version of the question “What do you want?” because I had buried the answer to it so deep that I couldn’t access it easily.
This should be a ‘want’ that feels like a pull towards something not an escape from something. It can be subtle. If what you want is to binge watch Netflix for the third night in a row, notice if you feel a pull towards Netflix or does it feel like you are running away from a feeling you have in your life? If what you want is a sports car, do you feel a quiet pull towards it or is it a need to fill a void? You can learn to discern the difference. The ‘want’ that will take you to your purpose will be a pull or a yearning or a curiosity from a deep and essential part of you.
This might seem farfetched. But if your life has veered way off course, then shouldn’t the directions to get you back on track seem a little unusual at first glance?
Living a purposeful life requires a muscle that many of us forgot we had. A muscle we haven’t used since we were toddlers. The muscle of knowing what we deeply and truly want and acting on it.
If your mind is saying “I can’t just do what I want! That is irresponsible!” or some version thereof, I invite you to ask yourself what kind of life are you living? If it’s not a purposeful one, then what is it?
It might be a life you’ve created by way of external reasons, forces, constraints, definitions, expectations. Many of those limitations developed as you grew into a responsible, accomplished, respected adult. We get them by observing how to be in the world. But to reacquaint with your purpose you have to go back into yourself and look inward.
A life of purpose must also require many steps I haven’t mentioned here such as hard work, clear goals, and intentional action. But the journey starts with what you want, even if it’s small and it’s not clear how it will relate to your purpose. Remember, it’s a muscle to be strengthened. And trust me, when you start to flex it a truly incredible life will begin to unfold. Good luck!
Hello, I’m Serena. I am a life coach and I write about discovering your calling and creating your right life. If you would like to receive thought-provoking content, join my email list. If you are interested in personalized 1:1 coaching, get in touch with me here.
