One book changed me as a parent.

Over the course of just a few pages in his book, the inner monologue of all my judgements and ‘shoulds’ quieted.

It was the beginning of a spiritual awakening.

Before this awakening I used to think of my children as nothing more than the result of biological reproduction. They were parts of me that had combined with parts of my husband to create something newish.

Carrying this as my truth resulted in a bit of torment. I used to see my children’s behavior as parts of them that I had to fix. Or worse: get rid of. I would try to explain their personalities away as being from my side of the family or my husband’s. There were parts of my kids that I was even ashamed of. I worked to correct (change) who they were. There were even parts of them that felt wrong to me. Let me be clear: I loved my role as a mother and I adored my three kids (still do!). But those feelings were also mixed with some anguish. I loved my children and also carried an underlying desire to not have to see the ugliness of my own DNA reflected back to me.

Then I read Gary Zukhav’s The Seat of the Soul and I woke up to another truth.

I began to see my kids as souls who have incarnated to heal and to learn and to grow. I bought into the belief that their story began long before I was even pregnant with them. And that they are on their own journeys that I will not fully understand and certainly cannot control. My middle child is often described as an old soul. Zukhav’s book explained the spiritual meaning of the term. She had been on this journey of the human experience before. It didn’t mean she was better than the rest of us. She didn’t inherit some magical combination of genetic wisdom. Her soul had suffered along its journey and had learned some of lessons of life, just as we are all doing.

Over the course of just a few pages in his book, the inner monologue of all my judgements and ‘shoulds’ quieted. In its place grew a curiosity. A curiosity for the journey of their souls and an appreciation that they are exactly where they need to be in this moment and in this lifetime.

Don’t get me wrong, I still discipline and guide and hold opinions! But my attachment to who they will become has loosened.

It’s possible this newfound spirituality is just a story that pulls the wool over my eyes. For me, however, I know that something is my truth not when it sounds like a universally happier story, but when I get a feeling of calm as I hold on to it. And I have that more so than ever before as a parent.

Hello, I’m Serena. I am a life coach and I write about discovering your calling and creating your right life. If you would like to receive thought-provoking content, join my email list. If you are interested in personalized 1:1 coaching, get in touch with me here.